hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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