Will you blow on my dice?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
