I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
