We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
