**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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