Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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