Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
