So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it because I queefed?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I touched a dick in church today
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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