Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
