Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy