They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault