would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
zippers are such a cool invention
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic