in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he was CRYING into my vagina
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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