Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
