So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
