Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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