your room smells of hookers.
And success
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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