it hurts more in the daytime
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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