if i can run in heels then i can drive
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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