i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
