We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
