yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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