Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
