yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
