my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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