dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
