1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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