You really coming over, don't trick.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
