If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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