I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize