i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
