Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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