This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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