this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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