Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
