dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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