Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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