Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
