nut hugger
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
