dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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