why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
