Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
