Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
