im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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