How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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