Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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