Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
