like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
