what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
