I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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