i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He shit in the fireplace
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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