I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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