8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
