Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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