i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
