why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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