You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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