oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I said "one day" and that day is not today
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize