Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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