you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
