you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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