I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
