once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I need water and some morals
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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