So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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