lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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