went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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